


You're not alone, baby girl

by FanAddicted2000



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Ava hates being a babysitter, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Kid!Sara, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Sara's cute, but she loves Sara, it's just in the epilogue, it's pretty light I think but better safe than sorry, just a tiny bit i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26249974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanAddicted2000/pseuds/FanAddicted2000
Summary: Because of an anachronism, the Legends have to go back to 1993 and stop a bunch of medieval guys. But because nothing is quite so simple, there's also a threat to Sara's family. That's how Ava found herself babysitting a moody and adorable 6 years old.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 48
Kudos: 216





	1. Part One

The day had begun quite peacefully.

Ava thought it was worth mentioning because for once, it wasn’t the Legends' fault.

She was enjoying a simple breakfast in bed at her apartment with Sara, both of them still naked from their sweet love making of the morning. Sara had woke her up with soft touches and light kisses on her neck and she let herself be taken care of. Sara was so good at making her feel loved, she knew her body so well and yet she remained gentle and attentive to every sigh, every groan and requests she managed to utter. She brought her over the edge twice before covering her with the sheet and sliding out of bed, not bothering to cover her nakedness, and prepared them something to eat. It was just a Thursday, but they had decided they deserved a day for themselves, so Ava took a day off and Sara let her team under the care of Amaya and Gideon with the formal interdiction of leaving the time zone. When the couple finally left bed, it was for a sweet shower before going out for a walk in the spring sun. They hold hands, smiled softly at kids running by them, exchanged small kisses and just basked in each other’s presence.

But then Gideon called.

Because when did the AI ever let them have a good time? Ava was convinced she was on the bad side of Gideon, and Sara’s laugh did nothing to reassure her of the contrary. 

“I’m sorry Captain, but it appears an anachronism requires your input.”

Ava scoffed causing Sara to laugh silently.

“Coming in a couple of minutes” the Captain said before putting her phone in her pocket.   
Leading Ava down a small alley, she pinned her against the wall, slipped one leg between hers and kissed her fiercely. Shortly afterwards, Ava let her head rest against the smaller blonde's shoulder.

“I know what we do is important and all, and I love doing it, but is one day off too much to ask?”She complained petulantly. 

Sara softly kissed her on her hair while her hand took a hold of the Director’s wrist to access her courier. 

“At least this time it’s not my team.”

She opened a portal on the Waverider’s bridge, tugging Ava to follow her through it. 

“Yet.” Ava mumbled. 

*******

The anachronism in itself wasn’t even that impressive, some douche and his buddies from Middle Age had been displaced and ended up in Starling city in 1993 with a surprising heavy firepower. The real menace was to Sara's family: her dad had been kidnapped after a failed raid of the SCPD and threats had been made against his family. Laurel and Dinah had been taken to a safe house for protection, but baby Sara had disappeared.

“Even at 6 years old you couldn’t avoid trouble?”

Sara smiled at her with pride and she rolled her eyes. How can I love this idiot so much¸ she wondered.

“So team, we gonna have to split in order to conquer. Obviously I can’t go look for myself, time paradox and all, been there, broke time, wouldn’t recommend it. Mick, Zari, Ray and I, we’ll deal with the medieval dudes while Nate and Amaya will protect my family.”

Watching Sara in her captain duties was always impressive for Ava. No matter how much she loved criticizing them, they really were a good team under her girlfriend’s direction. It was also a bit of a turn on for Ava, because a woman in power was always hot, but that was beside the point. They went back and forth for a while, working out the details, and then each one went to get ready. It only when the two of them were left alone that Ava’s brain remembered an important detail.

“What about baby you?”

Sara looked briefly at her before smoothing some invisible wrinkle on her shirt. 

“I thought you could deal with it.”

“Me? Alone?” Ava eyebrows reached her hair line, she didn’t saw that coming.

“If I’ve been kidnapped, we’ll find me with my dad, but honestly I think I probably just got lost in the general chaos. I thought my younger self would be more inclined to trust you than my team of weirdoes.” 

It took Ava a minute to understand from where came Sara’s sudden shyness. Then it hit her: she was offering her a bit of her past, a glimpse of her before she was thrown into the unfairness and horror of life. Ava pulled hers close, resting one of her hands on her hips while the other tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She bopped her nose with a tender smile on her lips.

“I cannot wait to meet baby you”

Sara smiled at her mischievously before pecking her lips.

“Hope you’ll still love me after.”

They discussed briefly of the logistics before going to get ready for the nineties. Gideon told them baby Sara was last seen when SCPD officers came for the Lance family. They were shopping at the mall when guns started shooting. In the midst of this sudden chaos, one of the officers grabbed the wrong kid thinking it was Sara and they all left for the safe house. When they realized their mistake, they returned to the mall but couldn’t find her. Ava clenched her fists at the unprofessionalism of those guys that put at risk not only the timeline but also the life of her girlfriend. They better not crossed her path if they wanted to preserve the integrity of their bodies. Sara explained to her that while her mom used to tell her to stay put in case she got lost, her dad always told her to wait for him at a small coffee shop, it was their secret place and he would always find her there. Being scared and lonely, Sara thought her younger self probably went there so she should start searching there. 

“I’ll keep baby you safe.” Ava assured before opening a portal to Starling city, 1993, a couple block away from the coffee shop. 

“I know you will.”

They briefly kissed and Ava made her way to the past.

*******

It was raining, because of course it had to be raining. She adjusted the collar of her coat to protect herself from the wind and opened her umbrella. With a worried look around her, she prayed that baby Sara would be safe. Her heart clenched as she contemplated the state the child must be in, on her own after the trauma of the attack at the mall. She never saw a picture of her, but she knew she would recognize her. Deep ocean blue eyes, hundreds of tiny freckles, dimple on the chin, probably a bit of attitude too. When she arrived near the coffee shop, she slowed her steps, carefully looking around. Nothing. Hopefully it meant baby Sara was inside. As she entered the café, she scanned the room with her eyes, looking at each customer and employee to assess whether or not they might be a threat. An elderly couple sat by the window, a group of students had taken over the sofa space at the back, and she counted four lone customers. As for the staff, there were two men behind the counter and one woman in the room. Clear. She walked to the counter and asked for a coffee and a chocolate cookie, still trying to locate the kid. 

“Do you have a restroom here?” she asked the server while paying for her order. 

The man looked at her with a smug smile and leaned on the counter.

“I didn’t know angel used them” he answered with a wink. 

Ava resisted the urge to gag.

“Is that your pick up line, jerk?”

The man sent her a nasty look and mumbled that the restroom was for employees only. That ruled out the option of baby Sara hiding in there. With a sigh, she left, packing the cookie in her coat pocket and sipped on her drink while keeping her eyes on her surroundings. She saw a bus stop with a small figure lying on the bench. She couldn’t see its face because of the hood but it was worth a try. Carefully approaching she saw the little body stiffen, as if her stillness could make her disappeared. Closing her umbrella, she kneeled beside the bench.

“Sara?”

A small face emerged from the blue hood with puffy eyes and a running nose. Baby Sara assessed her from head to toes, taking the time to scrutinize her before she frowned her thin eyebrows. She straightened up, sat down and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know you, leave me alone or I scream.” 

Her voice was high and wavering, but her eyes showed determination. Ava wanted to smile, thinking her tiny girlfriend looked really adorable but she didn’t want to risk offending her. 

“You don’t need to be scared, I’m…”

“I’m not scared” the little girl retorted. “My daddy is a cop and he will use his gun and handcuffs to put you in jail if you’re mean to me.”

Adorable. 

“I’m a friend of your daddy.” She said, causing the child to arch one eyebrow. “That’s how I knew how to find you, he said it was your secret place.”

Baby Sara widened her eyes and her little mouth formed a perfect circle. 

“He told you that?”

Ava nodded and the girl came nearer, her lips starting to tremble again while her eyes watered. 

“Is he coming to get me? He said he would, so I waited, but…”She ran her sleeve under her nose and let out a broken sob. Ava had a hard time not throwing herself on the child to hug her. She didn’t want to scare her but it was so hard watching her cry. Adult or child, Sara’s cries always broke her heart. Slowly she reached out her hand to her, giving her time to see her approach before putting it on her leg. Her thumb drew small circles on her knee in what she hoped would be a comforting gesture.  
“But I’ve been a bad girl, so maybe he don’t want to be my daddy no more.”

So maybe Ava shed a tear, so what? Who wouldn’t when the cutest kid, whom she loved the adult version, thought her daddy abandoned her of his own volition? Acting on instinct she took her in her arms and held her close to her chest. The weeping girl burrowed her head in her neck and let all her tears out. 

“Oh baby girl, your daddy loves you very much and he will always come for you.”

They stayed silent for a while, both taking comfort in the warmth of each other. Ava felt the little body against her grow still and she dropped a small kiss on her hair. Why life was so set on making Sara cry? Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she released the girl to look at it.

_We found the anachronism, call me ASAP- Sara_

“What’s that?”

She looked down at the fear in the small eyes and smiled softly to appease her. 

“It’s like a telephone but smaller. I have to call a friend of mine, it’s very important.”

Reaching into her pocket, she gave her the cookie she bought earlier. 

“Eat this while I’m on the phone, it will give you strength.”

Baby Sara looked at her skeptically before accepting the treat. Ava gave her an encouraging smile while she speed dialed her grown up girlfriend. 

“Ava, you found me?” Sara’s voice was taut and a little winded, causing Ava’s instant worry.

“Yes, right in front of the coffee. What’s going on?”

“Dark.”

One word and yet the Captain’s tone conveyed so many emotions: anger, determination, fear, weariness, threat. 

“He’s the one who armed the medieval dudes and he leads them with the promise of some religious bullshit.”

She longed to embrace her girlfriend, hold her hand and assured her by one look that she was strong enough to deal with everything Damien Dark could drop on her. 

“All right, I’ll drop baby you to the safe house, gather Nate and Amaya before coming to you. We can…”

“No.” the captain's voice was commanding and there was no room for debate. “You must keep young me safe, bring her back to our apartment. We know Dark wants to kill me and we can’t hand him over my sister and me on a silver platter.”

Sara let out a frustrated groan and covered the phone while talking to someone, maybe Ray. 

“Shit, I’m sorry we have to go. Just lay low and keep her safe please. Love you.”

She hung up without giving her time to reply, and Ava stared at her phone for a moment, taken aback. The situation seemed much worse than expected and Sara had given her almost no information. Her first thought was to call her back and demand clarification; after all she needed it to prepare herself as best she could. But the urgency in the captain's voice prevented her from doing so. She knew what she was doing and she didn't need to be distracted by Ava. She trusted her to protect her, and Ava could rise to the task and reciprocate that trust. She did, however, compose a brief message before she put her phone away. 

_I_ _’ll keep baby you safe. I know you can do it, but be careful please, I need you back. I love you –Ava._

A little hand gripped her coat and she looked down to meet the eyes of her young protégé. She gave her back the untouched cookie before crossing her arms. She seemed to have regained some self-confidence, and Ava found the familiar rebelliousness in her eyes.

“Maybe you’re my daddy’s friend but I don’t eat cookie from stranger. Now tell me where he is.”

Ava sighed. 

Farwell peaceful day, it’s babysitting time, she thought bitterly. 

So maybe it wasn’t the Legends fault this time but as she stared at baby Sara, she thought she could still be angry at them.   
Because she was the one stuck with a petulant, albeit adorable, kid while they could beat up the bad guys. 

“Your daddy is working to catch the bad guys and I’ll keep you safe until he returns.” She explained calmly.

One look at the child and she knew it wouldn’t be enough to convince her.

“Why mommy and Laurel aren’t here?”

“They had to hide in a secret place to be safe.”

That appeared to be the wrong thing to say, Ava realized as soon as the tears came back in the little girl’s eyes.

“Why can’t they hide with me? It’s because I was bad? I won’t be mean to Laurel again, I promise! I don’t want to be alone…”

Her small lips started shacking but she bit on it and closed her small fists, trying so hard to be brave. Ava squatted in front of her and held her shoulders. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sara. You’ll be reunited with them soon. But it’s okay because I’ll take care of you in the meanwhile. You won’t be alone.”

*******

Ava had managed to bring the young Sara back to her apartment in 2019. She thought it safer for that way the risk to randomly run across Dark and his goons were slimmer. It had taken her quiet a piece of time to convince her little protégée that it was safe to cross the portal, and then to explain why everything seemed so futuristic. Lucky for her, baby Sara, being still a child, was relatively open to the idea of time travel, even though it was magic in her eyes. Surprisingly, what appeared to bother Sara the most was to enter her house, not really that it wasn’t in the same year. 

“I’m not s’posed to go in strangers’ home”. She whispered with apprehension.

Her hands fidgeted at her sides and her eyes kept going from Ava’s face to the house. She looked small and unsure of herself in a way that Ava rarely saw Sara allowing herself to be. She didn’t hide herself behind tall and impenetrable walls, she didn’t felt the need to put on a brave face and soldier on. Ava kneeled at her sides and took her small hands in her.

“My name is Ava, I like books and going to the park, my favorite color is blue and I love Peter Pan. I’m friend with your daddy and he asked me to protect you until he comes back because he loves you very much.” 

She smiled softly at the child, hoping to gain her trust but also make her feel safe. Baby Sara seemed to think about it for a second, her forehead frowned in concentration and her lips closed tight. 

“Pinky promise?” she finally asked while seriously looking in her eyes.

“Pinky promise” Ava answered, linked their fingers without hesitation. 

The little girl seemed to considerably relax then, entering the house as if she owned it, no trace of the shy and frightened little girl she was just moments ago. She followed her behind, helped her removed her shoes and coat in spite of her protests – _“I’m six! I can do it myself” A silence… “I’m stuck, Ava…”_ \- busing herself in her kitchen, doing the dishes and preparing a snack. Sara was chatting her ear off, looking through her shelves and awing at every piece f technology she found. Ava’s mind was teeming with thoughts, worrying over both Saras’ safety, hating Dark, feeling guilty for not being there for her girlfriend, plans for babysitting her protégée for a couple of days, trying to remember where adult Sara hide her weapons so she could find them before baby Sara,…

“Ava!”

The Director of the Time Bureau jumped on her feet, tightening her grip on the knife that she was using to cut an apple. She looked up from the counter to see the little girl looking at her expectantly. 

“You’re alright?” she asked.

“I’m bored.” The child sighed dramatically, hand on her forehead and all. 

Ava laughed softly, she should have seen it coming, adult Sara didn’t have a lot of patience either. 

“I’m almost done, baby girl.”

“I’m not a baby, I run the fastest in my class.” She replied, sitting on a stool, arms crossed.

Was she already smug? She could see the pride in the little girl eyes but also the confidence. 

“Really?” she asked, her tone laced with false doubt. 

“Yeah, I run fastest than every girl and boy of my grade and the next one.”

Taking out a plate, Ava let out an impressed whistle.

“Even the boys?”

Baby Sara eagerly nodded her little head, a big grin spread across her face. 

“I always beat them at races.” She giggled for a while in that endearing way only children could before sobering. “But after they are always mean to me, calling me names or even pushing me. Daddy says that’s because they’re jealous and I should tell the teacher, but they are also mean to other kids, so I think they are just sillies.”

“What does your teacher say about it?”

Being a clone and all, Ava knew she didn’t had any real experience at being bullied as a child, but being a woman in a place of power surrounded by men gave her glimpse of that kind of attitude. She could hold her own of course, but it didn’t mean that their stupidity and frail masculinity wasn’t exhausting.

“She sometimes grounds them, but most of the time she say we shouldn’t listen to them, that ‘boys will be boys’” Sara grumbled, mimicking the voice of her teacher while pursing her small mouth. 

Ava felt anger rising in her blood. There were so many thing wrong in that answer she didn’t know on what her anger should focus first. 

“But I think she’s wrong so I fight them, because they are always mean to my friend Lizzie until she cry.” 

There was so much purpose and indignation in the girl's voice that Ava could not contain the pride that was rising inside her. Of course, baby Sara already had strong convictions about justice, especially when it came to defending girls. _"No woman should suffer at the hands of a man"_ she often repeated. Ava now knew that it wasn't just a matter of values for Sara, that she was speaking from experience and was willing to fight to prevent anyone from suffering the violence and outrages she had suffered. But hearing her at the age of six, already indignant and revolted, warmed Ava's heart. Maybe Sara had always had this fire inside her and destiny had chosen only one trigger among others, a cruel and perverse one, but maybe the result would always have been the same: Sara fighting for a better, safer and fairer world. 

Finalizing the little snack she prepared, she put the plate in front of the child along with a tall glass of milk and refocused on the little girl’s ramblings. 

“She is so nice and pretty, and I like holding her hand but Laurel say that I can’t marry a girl so I asked the only nice boy to marry me and he sayed no because he really like Madison. But I don’t really want to marry him, he is nice but so slow at races. Lizzie is not really fast but she cheer for me and share her candies with me. But she told me she want to marry Jake, but he is silly and pick at her pretty pigtails all the time. She say it’s because he like her, but I like her and I don’t do that because that silly.” 

Ava could barely contain her laughter. Baby Sara discovering her bisexuality was the sweetest thing she'd ever witnessed. She wondered if the adult version remembered her crush on Lizzie and made a mental note to tell her when the situation calmed down. For the time being she simply get herself a coffee and sat alongside her protégée.

“I’m sure you will find a pretty girl or boy to marry one day” she assured her with a wink that caused the child to grin widely.

“I hope they will be pretty like you.” The little girl exclaimed while sending her a clumsy wink of her own that resulted with her just blinking too hard. 

Was she being hit on by the child version of her girlfriend? She is surreal no matter her age, Ava thought with a laugh. She had to admit that at six years old, she already had better moves than the twenty something at the café. 

“Come on Casanova, time to eat”. 

“My name is Sara, not Casanova” the little girl answered, the “duh” hanging implicitly in her sigh. 

She ate eagerly her apple and piece of cake but completely ignored her milk. 

“You have to drink your glass, Sara.” She reminded her. 

“I don’t want to, it’s eww” the child complained, her whole face twisted with disgust.

Ava rolled her eyes and pressed her lips. She had never been a teenager, but she felt confident thinking that she wouldn’t have chose babysitting as a summer job. 

“It’s not ‘eww’, it’s good for your body, to grow tall and strong.”

Sara looked at her with mutiny in her eyes. She very deliberately crossed her arms and stared at her. 

“I’m already strong. I don’t want to drink it!”

Ava wanted to point out that she may be strong, but she wasn’t tall, and she wouldn’t be as an adult. But she was supposed to be the adult here, so she sat straighter and let a mask of seriousness fall on her face.

“Sara” she started, her voice heavy with some kind of authority, “drink it.”

Again, bad idea. The child jumped to her feet, tears drowning her eyes and started to scream.

“I don’t want to drink my milk and you can’t make me do it! You’re not my mommy or my daddy.” She stamped her foot with anger, but Ava wasn’t fooled by it. She stood and came near her, dropping to one knee.

“I want them back, right now! Bring they back!”

Ava took her in her arms, holding her through her struggle until the last bit of fight left her. Baby Sara, deprived of any anger, was left crying on her chest, her tiny fists clenching her shoulders as if they were the only thing maintaining her here. She cried for a long time, until she ran of tears too. Then Ava felt her weight dropping on her and understood that she fell asleep. The heart heavy, she carried her to her room and carefully tucked her in the bed. She was so small… She sat silently besides her, tenderly caressing her cheek, and thought of all the hardship this little girl will have to go through all the pain and deaths that waited for her. It all seemed so unfair. She loved having Sara in her life, loved being able to love her and be loved by her. Yet in that instant, she would have given up everything they had to protect her younger self from ever needing to grow stronger, harder.   
She felt her phone vibrated in her pocket. Wiping a lonely tear, she picked it up. 

“Hey” Sara’s voice alleviated her mood, helping her out of the dangerous“what-if” merry-go-round. 

“Hi babe” she answered in a whisper, not ready yet to let the little girl alone. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I think we’re almost done. We managed to deal with the anachronism without messing anything, you’d be proud.” The laugh in her words convinced Ava that her girlfriend was truly fine. A smile blossomed on her lips.

“I’m proud of you” she indulged. “What about Dark?”

“Missing, of course. I swear, I hate that man a bit more every day.”

“I’m sorry, Sara. We’ll get him, eventually, I promise”. 

“I know…” she sighed. “I miss you, Aves.”

“ And I, you” Ava confessed, smiling soflty.

“How is younger me? Given you hell yet?” Sara chuckled, leading easily the topic away from too much feelings.

"Doesn't want to drink her milk" She said, pleased to hear Sara laughing. "No wonder why you're so small."

They fell back to their usual banter, Ava teasing her size while Sara argued that she managed just fine with her _perfectly average size thank you._

“I think it’s hard for her, maybe harder than she realized, being away from her family.” Ava wondered aloud when they reached an agreeing on Sara's size being perfect for what they needed her to do. 

There was a pause on both sides as they contemplate what that meant for the little girl.

“I know that my family love me” Sara started finally, her voice somewhat confused and shy. “But I think growing up, I also feared not being enough for them, or being too much. I was never as smart and calm as Laurel, or girly enough for my mom. I was a daddy girl, but I always thought he preferred Laurel too. I was scared they would leave me and go away just the three of them.”

Knowing Sara as she did, it wasn’t hard for Ava to see the vulnerability in her insecurity. However, seeing it first hand in the eyes of a scared six years old gave it a reality and a power that took her breath away. 

“I guess you could say I had abandonment issue” Sara said with a forced laugh. 

She needed her girlfriend in her arms right now, she needed to see the pain in her eyes and kiss it away. Looking back at the child in her bed, she decided that she needed both versions of her girlfriend in her arms. She had a promise at the tip of her tongue. She wanted to promise Sara that she would never leave her side, that she would always be there for her, that she would love her and grow old with her. But it wasn’t the kind of promises she could safely make. 

“That’s why I wanted you to take care of her, child me. I think she could use your love, even just for a while. I know I do.” She confessed. 

What could she say after such admission?

“I love you.” 

The finished the call with soft words and Sara announcing her return for the next evening. With a deep sigh, Ava was about to stand and leave the room but a small hand grabbed hers.

“Don’t leave me too, please” The little girl implored, her small voice heavy with sleep and sorrow. 

Without hesitation, Ava lied on the bed, welcoming the child in her arms.

“You’re not alone, baby girl, I’ve got you” she promised, dropping a soft kiss to her brow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings !
> 
> I said i would try my hand at fluff, so here I am! Yes there are some tears, and yes the end is kinda heavy with feels, but I think it's not so bad for my first "light" fic! I really loved writing this young Sara, I found it interesting to depict her as already fierce and stubborn, and yet also insecure and sensible. As you may have seen, it's a two part story, and I intend to maybe dive a bit more in this side of her in the second chapter. It won't turn to angst, I promise, I want this to stay light and funny (well, I hope it's funny… I laughed when writing Baby Sara's crush and sassiness, I hope you too).  
> Please, let me know what you thought of Baby Sara and Babysitter Ava !
> 
> Until next times, mates !


	2. Part Two

She woke up gradually with the feeling of something in her hair. Still in the mists of her nap, it took her a moment to identify what it was. A hand. Someone was petting her hair. She opened one eye and was met by the sight of the little girl, sat crossed legs next to her, sweetly if not a bit clumsily, petting her hair. Had it been anyone else, she would have pined them to the bed and threaten to break their arm if they ever try to touch her again in her sleep. But it was Sara, a tiny version of her girlfriend, and she was always the exception. So she smiled and sat up slowly facing the child.

“Did you have a good nap?” she asked, her voice a little rough from her sleep.

She was a bit surprised with herself, not usually one for impromptu nap. Sometimes, when they were having a quiet day, Sara and her would lie on the couch and enjoy the peace while reading something. Sara would always fall asleep and Ava cherished the knowledge that her girlfriend felt safe enough to let her guard down when it was just the two of them. She either watched her sleep –in a non-creepy way, mind you- or resume her reading. Maybe she was more tired than she thought, after all, Sara had kept her quite busy last night and this morning. She blushed remembering the things they had done and thanks her past-self for insisting in cleaning the sheets.

Baby Sara nodded once.

“Is my daddy coming soon?” she inquired.

Ava shifted her focus to the child.

“You will see him tomorrow evening.”

She waited for the child to digest the news, not knowing whether it was a satisfying answer or not. Would she cry again?

“And I’ll stay with you?” she asked again.

Ava nodded with a reassuring smile. That seemed to placate the girl who bounced on the bed before jumping to the feet.

“Great! What are we gonna do? Can we go to the zoo, or the park, or the museum? We could race!”

Ava pressed her lips tight not to let out a groan. Too much energy in this small body, she thought. Her little protégée was almost vibrating with excitement, her mood far better than before her nap. She adverted her eyes to the clock on her nightstand noting it was barely past 4. What was the bedtime for a six-years old? Surely before 9, she thought. She could do it.

Babysitting, here I come, she thought.

“How about a puzzle?” she asked, proposing the first thing that crossed her mind.

She couldn’t take her outside, could she? It was 2019 and she feared the outside world might be too overwhelming for the little girl. A lot had changed since the 90s.

“That’s boring” the child sighed, still a bit jumpy on her feet.

Ava looked at her intently, ready to defend her very non-boring puzzles when she recognized the attitude of her protégée.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?”

Baby Sara nodded vigorously, pressing her legs and moving her hips in the typical I-need-the-loos-now dance. She jumped out of bed and guided the child to her bathroom, helping her with the button of her trousers before leaving. She tidied her bed and checked her phone for any update. She had a message from Garry informing her of an important meeting at the Time Bureau and she groaned. Dealing with a bunch of old white straight men was annoying in normal circumstances, but with a child to babysat? That would be fun, and by fun she obviously meant hell. Baby Sara came running out of the bathroom and collided in her legs.

“It have animals on it, your puzzle? Because I like animals but only the cool ones, not the boring ones like ducks and cows. I like lions and bears and…

“Did you wash your hands?”

Ava cut her midsentence when she sensed her list would never stop. The child smiled sheepishly at her and ran back in the bathroom. Too much energy, she would need more than puzzles to occupy her. Maybe they could go to the park where Sara and her walked before Gideon called. It wasn’t that far from her house and not that crowded, moreover it already had everything child-friendly that could entertain baby Sara. She was weighting the pros and cons when the child came back to her, hands still dripping and the front of her tee-shirt wet.

“Your sink is for grown-ups, I had to stand on my tippy toes to reach it!” she exclaimed, going on the details of how she jumped to grab the soap as if she just lived the greatest adventure of all.

Ava listened to her with a soft smile on her face and reached to tam a wild lock of blond hair that had broken free from her ponytail. She had never really thought about having children. Maybe it wasn’t in her programming as a clone, or maybe she never really wanted them. Yet, when she started getting serious with Sara, she realized that she wanted it all, or at least as much as she could. She wanted the white picket fence, Sunday brunch, dirty dishes and lazy mornings in bed. She wanted to grow old by her side, to see the wrinkles conquer the beautiful face of her girlfriend, count the white hair as they appeared. She didn’t even know if she could grow old and that scared her, but she wanted to discover it with Sara at her sides. Having children seemed a bit mad, between the Waverider, the Time Bureau and babysitting the Legends. Hell, she didn’t even know if Sara wanted them. And yet, here she was, contemplating the idea of a little boy with a chin dimple and blue ocean eyes, mischief in his smile and generosity in his heart. It was scary, how beautiful this picture already was in her mind. Could she be a mother? Did she truly want it?

“That’s why there was a puddle but I cleaned it with toilet papers!”

She came back to the present, leaving behind her hypothetic unborn son to focus on the very real, and apparently very clumsy, little girl in front of her.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have helped you” she chided while going to evaluate the situation in her bathroom.

Puddle on the floor, soap on the sink, bits of paper stuck here and there. Nothing too bad. She cleaned with efficiency under the contrite watch of the child.

“I’m sorry, Ava; I didn’t wanted to make a mess.” She apologized with a small voice.

“It’s alright, baby girl, just ask next time and I’ll come.” Ava replied with more softness in her words as she left her bathroom.

Sara nodded with seriousness twice before the excitation came back to her little body.

“We’re still doing the puzzle?”

Ava shook her head before taking her hand to lead her to the front door.

“No, I’ll take you to the park.” She announced.

The little girl threw herself in her legs, thanking her a hundred times before listing all the things she planned on doing. Ava helped her putting her coat back on and kneeled to lace her shoes with care. She prepared herself, checked her pocket for her phone and keys before putting on her serious-parenting mask on, because she had one now apparently.

“There are rules outside that you have to follow or we come back immediately.”

Sara nodded and stood straighter, as if she tried to look older than she was.

“I know, daddy tell them everytime. I hold the hand when we cross the street, no running on the sidewalk. At the park: no yelling, no talking to strangers, no following strangers, no eating food from strangers, no putting hands in the mouth, I have to stay where you can see me.” She recited, listing each point on her fingers before counting them again to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything. “Can we go now?”

Ava chuckled; she really was a cop child. 

“Alright, baby girl, let’s go to the park.”

“Yes!”

*******

“Higher, Ava, higher!” Sara giggled, gripping the swing hard and extending her little legs.

Ava dutifully pushed her again while surveying the playground. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, something she couldn't name and that made her wary. There were 4 children under ten scattered around them, 3 teenagers and 3 adults. No one looked suspicious or threatening. She sighed. She needed adult Sara back, it was the only way to calm her nerves.

“I’m gonna jump!” the child declared.

Ava barely had time to protest that baby Sara had already left the seat of the swing. She watched her with dread, following her jump helplessly from behind the swing. The girl landed crouched on her feet and, taking advantage of her momentum, bent over to do a forward roll and finish her little acrobatic stunt with her hands in the air and a big smile on her face. 

“Did you see, Ava!”

Her heart loud in her ears, she smiled and congratulated her. This child was going to be the death of her. She went to sit on a bench and let her play alone for a moment, satisfy to just watch her running around. How could she fight villains across time all day but be exhausted after one hour at the park with a six-years old? She swore that child was not human. She watched her approach a little girl around her age at the small carrousel near the swing. Baby Sara talked animatedly at her, doing wide hands gestures that made the child laugh. Soon enough, they were both running around, jumping here and there. It was heartwarming to see her like that. Not that she ever doubted Sara being an outgoing child, but there was something unique and precious in seeing it herself.

She wondered what kind of child she would have been. The fake memories that Rip had implanted in her painted a childhood with which she could no longer connect, it didn’t feel right. If she were to trust her brief experience at the summer camp with Sara, it seemed safe to say she wouldn’t have had many friends. Though she didn’t really need many friends, just a few good ones. And Sara. Could they had been friends as children? Seeing baby Sara running around with the four children of the playground, she knew that they would have been. There was just something in her that radiated and attracted people. You wanted to be around her, well when she wasn’t being a pain in the ass, she thought, laughing quietly. She took out her smartphone and opened her message app.

_Baby you is playing at the park with a small group of kids already in love with her, it’s cute. Hope you’re being safe, love you._

She didn’t really hope for a response, knowing how busy she probably was, so she was pleasantly surprised when her phone vibrated in her hand a couple minutes later. 

**_waiting 4 results on rays analysis, so kinda bored but safe_ **

**_don’t be jealous, i don’t think she knows yet shes bi, probably just want 2 race_ **

Ava laughed, not even containing her smile when she realized that she was now part of the mushy people that smile at their phone while talking to their partner.

_She may not know that she’s bi, but trust me, she already has crushes. Remember Lizzie?_

**_? who_ **

_Your first crush on a straight girl._

**_lol_ **

**_thx my gaydar got better_ **

**_wait, i think the 1 st girl i kissed was called madison in middle school_ **

Ava snorted.

_You’re impossible! Baby you told me you asked a boy to marry you, as you couldn’t marry Lizzie, but he preferred a girl name Madison._

**_damn im good_ **

**_g2g, rays back_ **

**_I love you_ **

It always made her feel warm inside when Sara texted her she loved her. She had mocked Sara from the beginning for her inability to text as a grown-up, always using abbreviations and completely forgetting the use of any punctuation or capitals. But each and every time she texted Ava “I love you”, it was always well-written. She took the time, no matter the rush and it made her feel so special, so loved. She could hear her voice behind each little word, the honesty and care with which she always said it to her, and it made her fall a bit more every time.

_I love you too, babe. Be careful._

She had barely pressed send that a scream echoed, startling her. As she stood alert, she identified the source of the cry and her heart missed a beat. Baby Sara was on the ground, clenching her knee against her small chest. Before her brain could even form the thought, she was by her side, evaluating the situation, assessing the injuries and looking for the threat. Two kids were standing awkwardly around them while the first little girl Sara had approached sat beside her. The cry had attracted the attention of the adults but they quickly went away with their children when they saw Ava handling the situation. No one out of place, no immediate danger.

“What happened, baby girl?” Ava finally asked, trying to get a better look at the little girl’s knee.

Fat tears were drowning her pink cheeks and sobbed shake her small shoulders.

“It hurts…”

Ava wipe some tears from her face.

“Oh, sweetie. Let me see your knee, please.”

She had to force herself to keep the panic out of her words. Objectively, she knew it was nothing, at best a simple graze, at worst a small wound. But her reason wasn’t as loud as her worry in her head, and she only saw the pain in her protégée face. The child stretched her leg as best as she could to let her assess her injury.

“There was a man… with a dog and, and Cathy wanted to p-pet him but that’s against daddy’s rules. So, I… I ran to stop her. B-but I fell” she valiantly explained between sobs and sniffs.

Her jeans were torn and Ava could see a bit of blood but nothing alarming. It would only require some disinfectant and a small bandage. She was going to be alright.

“It’s alright, baby girl’ she said again out loud, as much to reassure the child as to sooth her own fears. “You did good and it’s just a small wound. We’re going home to take care of it, ok?”

Sara nodded.

“You’re going to heal it like daddy?”

Ava took her in her arms before standing. Keeping her against her chest, she started walking back to her house.

“Yes, baby girl, I’m going to take care of it.”

The child easily laced her legs at her sides and crossed her arms behind her head, letting her head fall in her neck. Ava could feel her quiet breathing against her skin as well as some remaining tears.

The weight of the child in her arms was surprisingly familiar, as was the instinct to softly hum a soft song. She was a feminist, she didn’t believe that maternal instinct was intrinsic to being a woman, she didn’t believe that a woman life became whole by having a child. It wasn’t what it was about here. It was nice, caring for this little girl, observing her discovering the world with stubbornness and innocence. It felt nice and Ava was starting to come to term with the idea that she might want to felt it again.

*******

When they arrived home, Ava directly went to her room and sat the child on her bed.

“You’re going to shower and then I’ll put a bandage on your knee, alright?”

Sara frowned her little brows, considering the offer with intensity.

“Can I take a bath instead?” She negotiated.

Ava pressed her lips not to laugh.

“Deal.”

Sara made a fist bump and eagerly started to disrobe while Ava went to start the bath. She took out a fluffy towel and looked out for some pajamas for the girl. She searched in Sara’s drawer and took out an old SCPD tee-shirt of her dad, thinking it might bring some comfort to the little girl.

“Do you have toys?”

Ava rolled her eyes and joined the child. She helped her carefully into the bath after checking that it wasn't too warm.

“No, I don’t, sorry”

Sara looked around and pouted her lips, not very differently from her adult version.

“But what I’m gonna do in here?”

Ava shrugged.

“Do you at least have bubbles?”

Ava thought for a moment before remembering Garry’s last gift for “best Boss’s Day”, because the idiot was cute that way. She took out a basket from under the sink and brought it to the child. Inside were presented four small bath bombs and some body lotions she’d forgotten about.

“Here, take your pick” she said.

“Wow!” Baby Sara exclaimed, stars in her wide eyes.

She carefully took each ball in her hands, examining them with reverence, smelling them tentatively. Finally, she selected the yellow one, asking for permission before immerging it in the bath. She held her breath, waiting. The bath bomb slowly started to dissolve, small bubbles forming around it as yellow foam came to the surface. Sara giggled, wonder evident on her face, and covered her body with it.

“Look Ava, I have a beard! Do you like it?”

“You look very handsome like this”

“It’s a fake one! I don’t like beard, it’s itchy. Daddy don’t have one and he is very handsome still. Once for Halloween he putted a fake moustache, he looked very silly. I was disguised as a zombie ninja and Laurel sayed it was gross and she was a witch, but I sayed she was too pretty to be a witch but she sayed I was silly because witches can be pretty. We had many many candies, daddy sayed we couldn’t eat them all that night, but I ate too much and my tummy hurt but they were so good I couldn’t not eat them!”

Ava listened with a fond smile on her lips as the child kept her babbling one, content to keep playing with the bubbles. Her injured knee seemed far away from her mind. Ava took her phone out and snapped a picture of the child, wanting to keep a trace of Sara cuteness. It would make a powerful tool to blackmailed her, she thought playfully. Maybe she would print it and add it to their house. They had started putting photos a bit everywhere, wanting to keep tangible proofs of their memories together. She was considering where it would look the best when her phone rang.

“It’s daddy?” Baby Sara asked immediately.

Ava looked at the name on the screen and groaned.

“No, I’m sorry, baby girl. It’s my work.”

She answered her phone.

“Director Sharpe” she said, her non-bullshit voice full on.

“Hi Director! You didn’t answer my text about tomorrow's meeting so I wanted to make sure it was still good with you.”

Garry’s voice was always cheerful and almost childish, it was both amusing and annoying. At the moment, Ava went with annoying. Keeping an eye on her protégée, she went over the details with him. They were discussing some financial aspect when Baby Sara got bored of the bath.

“Don’t put it in your mouth, Sara!” Ava exclaimed as the child tried to tasted the yellow foam.

“I’m hungry and it looks yummy” she countered, shrugging her shoulders.

“I’m almost done, sweetie.”

The girl sighed and crossed her arms but kept silent.

“Euh, Director? Is everything okay?” Garry asked, confused.

“Yes but I have to go. It’s almost bed time and I still have to take Sara out of the bath and made her dinner. Did we cover everything?”

“Yes, yes, you can go. But… hmm… I didn’t know the Captain of the Waverider had a bedtime” he chuckled like a ten years old boy.

“Garry” she warned “I don’t have time for your nonsense, nor do I need your permission to go. I’ll call you back tomorrow at 1pm.”

She hung up without waiting for his answer and pocketed her phone.

“Alright, baby girl, let’s get you out.”

Ava helped the child out of the bath and dried her meticulously before putting her in the shirt. It made a long nightshirt on her little body, swallowing her completely in an adorable way.

“That’s daddy’s shirt!” Baby Sara exclaimed, her whole face lit with happiness as she hugged herself.

It warmed Ava’s heart to see she had managed to offer the child a little bit of comfort. She got the feeling the night might be long alone, exiled from her family. She was only Six after all, still so young to be put through the kind of situation where she might lose a parent. Reaching for her first aid kit, she smiled when she found the kid’s one that she had bought to mock Sara when she came back hurt from the field one day – “ _If you act like a child, you get treated like a child, Sara” she had chastised the Captain. “Princesses, Ava? Seriously? You could have picked the one with dinosaurs at least”_ -. 

“Don’t you have dinosaurs instead?” Baby Sara complained with her little lips pursed as she applied the bandage on her knee.

The Time Bureau Director winked at her and playfully bopped her nose, making the little girl giggled.

“Come on, time to eat.” She said as she led her to the kitchen.

“Yes! I’m faminished!” Baby Sara complained with her hands on her belly.

“You mean famished?” Ava corrected with a smile.

She opened the fridge to take out some fresh carrots and piece of chicken, then picked pasta from her pastry, setting everything on the counter.

“I’m so fa-mi-shed” the girl repeated slowly “that I can’t speak right.”

“Well, how about you munch on some carrots sticks while I cook?”

Ava had already started rinsing and peeling the carrots to cut them in short sticks.

“Yes! I love carrots but not because I like rabbits, they are boring. Laurel likes them a bit, but we prefer canaries, they are so pretty and so funny. Have you ever see one? They don’t eat carrots of course, that’d be silly.”

She went on with her babbles between bits of carrots and Ava let her talk while she cooked. It was funny how this version of Sara couldn’t stay silent for five minutes, always filling the space with a constant stream of parole that didn’t need any real input to go on. The adult version was more contained, she measured her words more, always aiming at the bullseyes, effective, sarcastic, funny, imperious, contrite. It changed a bit after she got to know her more personally. She was more open and let herself say more. Still, she always thought before saying anything, seldom letting her feelings take hold on her words. That was why when she was upset and didn’t talk, Ava knew she had to let her take the time to process her feelings, to put words on them, the good ones, the one she felt where the more accurate to describe her inner turmoil. But there were moments, just the two of them, when Ava thought she got glimpses of her younger self’s volubility. When she was really tired but refused to go to sleep and kept on mumbling mindlessly until she succumbed to sleep; when they drank a bit too much of wine on a lazy night and got mushy; when she was feeling especially nostalgic and would reminisced her memories, good ones that she needed to share not to forget. She was always so soft and vulnerable, such a contrast to who she was the rest of the time: the strong and stubborn Captain of the Waverider, the funny yet commanding Time mom, the deadly and menacing assassin, the sassy and sexy flirt. She had so many layers and Ava felt honored to be able to discover and love each and every single one.

They dined comfortably, with Sara even asking for a glass of milk to make herself even stronger. After a quick brushing of her teeth, Ava took the girl to the guest room she had prepared. She tucked her in tenderly, kissed her forehead, promised to meet her in the morning and left. She made sure to leave the door ajar before returning to her room. She went through her nighttime routine, checked her phone and then slipped under her comforter with her computer and several files. She had some paperwork to finalize and documents to review before her meeting tomorrow. She has been working for a couple hours when she decided a cup of tea was needed. As she entered the hallway, she decided to check on the little girl before having her drink. She walked to the door on light feet not to wake her up, but hearing the small sobs from the other side she came in, worry in her stomach.

“Sara?” she approached her slowly lest she startled the sobbing child. “Talk to me, baby girl, what’s going on?”

She sat on the bed and the little girl immediately threw herself in her arms.

“I had a bad dream” she whispered, as if saying it too loud might made it come back. “And at home, I’d go see Laurel because she makes the bad things go away, but she’s not here.”

How many times can Ava’s heart break?

“It’s alright, you can come with me if you want” she proposed while rubbing her back to sooth the light shake that persisted.

“Will you make the bad things go too?”

“I will, baby girl. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings ! 
> 
> So I updated and still no real angst, that's good x)) I hope you're still enjoying the story ^^ This time there's a bit more of Ava, by that I mean that I wanted to start a reflexion on her thoughts of being a mother. I think it's something she'll obviously need to discuss with Sara, but first she needs to contemplate the idea on her own. Also, she's cute when she misses her girlfriend.  
> At first, there were only two parts planned to this story but I didn't want to rush it for I had still things to say, cute and fluffy things to write, so there will a third and last part.  
> Let me know what you think, or even what you light want in the last part ^^ 
> 
> Until next times mates !


	3. Part Three

The morning came way too soon for Ava who opened her eyes at 7am as she was used too. Or maybe she was programmed to? She sometimes wondered to what extent her habits might be the result of her programming. She wasn’t one to stay in bed for long and waste the day away just because she could. Well, except if Sara was besides her of course. Sara always seemed to sense when Ava woke up, for she became increasingly clingy in her sleep, climbing on her like a koala on a tree, mumbling nonsense in her skin. It was really cute and effective most of the time. Knowing Sara wasn’t here to cuddle her, Ava groaned under her breath and rolled to the side to take hold of her phone. A couple of texts from Garry, updates from different missions at the Time Bureau that she’d need to check and several messages from Sara. A smile blossomed on her lips.

**i know u r already awake, probably missing my cuddles tho u won’t admit it**

**long night but almost done tracking darks guys, Amaya should come around 6pm to take mini-me back to mom and dad**

**i miss u babe**

**I love you.**

Ava was about to answer when she realized the bed was empty beside her. She sat in a jump, looking for the child she had taken to her bed last night. After she had found her sobbing in the dark of the guest room, they had shared the bed, snuggled under the sheets to keep “the bad things” away. Baby Sara had refused to talk more in details about her nightmare and Ava hadn’t insisted, she had just held her tighter. The little girl had woken twice more in the night, not with a scream as her adult version usually did, but with broken sobs that shattered her whole being. When Ava finally managed to calm her from her last scare, the child fell asleep with her head tucked under Ava’s chin, letting her heartbeats lulled her. But now, she was nowhere to be seen.

“Sara?” Ava called as fear clenched her heart.

No one answered her and when she stood to search the bathroom, she found it empty. She went to the guest room, but still no trace of the child. She was about to reach the staircase to check in the living room when a loud noise occurred on the first floor. Ava grabbed a gun from one of Sara’s hideout -in a drawer of the hallway’s cupboard _"I know you're not a fan of knives, so this one is for you" "Great, more weapons hide in the house, just what we needed"_ \- and she rushed down the stairs two by two. Weapon at the ready, she quickly scanned the room for threats. She found none, nor did she saw her protégée. Her heart was loud in her ears.

“Sara?”

A muffled noise came from the kitchen and, as she walked to the counter, a small head emerged from behind it.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, it’s an accident!” The child said in a rush, fat tears gathering quickly in her eyes.

Ava looked behind the kitchen island to see a broken glass, small pieces shattered everywhere around the child. Ava sighed, put the security back on the gun and dropped it on the kitchen island.

“You scarred me, Sara!” she exclaimed, fear making her voice harsher than she intended. “Didn’t you hear me calling your name? Why didn’t you answer?”

“I… I’m sorry, Ava… I wanted to be good to you and… and…” The little girl burst into tears and couldn’t finish her sentence.

Ava pressed her lips and closed her fists at her sides, breathing deeply. She had to get it together, her misplaced anger shouldn’t fall on the child. She was missing Sara and her worry for her was constant. For a minute, she thought she had lost the child, she thought she had failed to protect the little girl that had quickly become a huge part of her heart, that her distraction had cost not only the child life, but her girlfriend’s too. So many scenarii had passed through her mind…

“I’m sorry, baby girl” she said in a trembling breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you.”

The child still refused to meet her eyes, sniffing loudly in her tee-shirt.

“Sara? Can I carry you away from the broken glass? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

She didn’t answer but let herself be taken to the couch, hiding behind the pillows as soon as she could. Ava sat by her side for a moment, before deciding to let the tension drop a bit between them. She went to put the gun away and clean the broken glass, seeing for the first time the bottle of orange juice and the fruits clumsily arranged on a tray. Guilt fell harder on her shoulders as she realized what the child had been trying to do. Joining her on the sofa after having put everything at its right place, she tried to find the words. Baby Sara talked before she had the chance.

“I’m sorry I made a big mess and broke your stuff… I tried to make you breakfast to say thank you for making the bad things go away… I wanted to be nice like you’re nice to make you happy… but I made everything wrong because I’m a bad girl.” She confessed in a small whisper.

“It’s alright, Sara, you're not a bad girl. It was an accident, it happens sometimes, that doesn't mean you're bad. I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you like I did, I wasn’t upset because of you. I’m sorry too.” Ava replied with a soft voice.

She may be stubborn, but she believed it was important to acknowledge our mistakes, especially in front of children. They were sponges to what they witnessed, so it was important to set the good example and show them that a healthy relationship of any kind should include communication. She had been working on that with adult Sara from the beginning. The former assassin tended to work things on her own, to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself until it became the utmost necessity to share them. And Ava got it, she understood to a certain extent from where she was coming from, how internalizing everything helped her survived and become the great Captain she was. However, it wasn’t because she understood it that she was okay with it. So, they talked, heavy talk, light talk, random talk, but they talked. Because they saw first-hand in what a lack of conversion resulted in their relationship: each one breaking up with the other because their insecurities became louder than the love and trust they had in each other. And Ava thought the same thing was essential with children, inviting them to voice their thoughts, validating their feelings. It was her way to ensure a safe and healthy space… she stopped her thought as another thought burst in her head. When had she thought of how she wanted to educate children?

“Why are you upset then?” Baby Sara asked, avoiding Ava to consider how truly she needed to have the baby-talk with her adult version.

“I’m worried for someone, like you’re worried for your daddy” she admitted easily.

“Is it your daddy too?”

“No, it’s not, sweetie” she replied easily again, not even bothered by the clone mess that was her past. There was too much innocence in the child question for her to get upset.

“Is it your lover then?”

Ava blushed, because it seemed the innocence didn’t prevent her from embarrassment.

“Yes, I’m worried about my lover”

She smiled softly, thinking of Sara as her lover was kind of cheesy but she liked it. Yes, she was her girlfriend, but the word always felt a bit too childish for her liking, not quite measuring up to the bond they shared. She had thought of partner, but it lacked the romantic involvement they had. Lover was intimate and strong, lover was just for the two of them, something she never had before. Did Sara already have had someone she could think as her lover? Maybe Nyssa, through she knew she called her beloved.

“Is he fast at races your lover?”

Ava laughed loudly, surprised at how baby Sara’s little mind functioned. She had her priorities set.

“Yes, she” Ava insisted on the pronoun “runs fast.”

The little girl face lit.

“So we can marry a girl! I knew Laurel was just being silly when she told me I couldn’t.”

Ava’s heart warmed and she nodded as she stood to go prepare them their breakfast. A quick glance at her clock told her almost an hour already went by. She enjoyed spending her time with baby Sara, but she was still eager to get back her girl… her lover. Damn, she blushed again.

“Yes, you can marry a girl, you can love whomever you want” she confirmed.

Well, technically, she couldn’t in her time, but she was just a kid, and the law will be passed by the time she had the age of thinking about it. For a brief moment, she thought of Sara married to Oliver Queen and scrunched her face. Was there a world in the multiverse where it was real? She didn’t like that thought, no matter on what earth.

“Is she pretty? What’s her name? Does she have pretty dress like Lizzie? Did she give you candies too?”

She heard the little feet of the child following her and she helped her sit on a stool as she got their food ready.

“You’re very curious, little one” she commented with a wink.

“I bet she isn’t more pretty than you” baby Sara countered, trying and failing to wink back at her.

Ava laughed. That kid was unbelievable. She set a glass of milk, two toast and a bowl of fruits -banana, orange and blueberries- in front of her. She smiled when she saw the child gulp a third of her milk in once.

“So, is your wife giving you candies?” she insisted once she put her glass down, a cute milky moustache on top of her mouth.

Ava gave her a napkin to remove it as she prepared herself a more than needed mug of coffee.

“Well, we don’t really eat candies, but sometimes we…” she stopped, the child’s question registering in her brain. “Did you say my wife?”

The kid nodded, her mouth filled with bread.

“We aren’t married!” she exclaimed, not really knowing why she was so adamant on it.

Sara Sharpe… Ava Sharpe-Lance… Nope, definitely nope. Wait… did Sara was expecting them to get married? It seemed highly unlikely, but she didn’t want to be the one to assume things, especially that kind of thing. Should they also have that talk? That was maybe a lot, would she scare Sara away if she brought to her thoughts about having children, how to educate them, her point of view on marriage, her fears and anxieties… Ok, she was maybe starting to freak out a little bit.

“Why? Don’t you love her?”

Just a tiny bit.

“Are you scared she don’t want to be your wife?”

Just a tiny little bit.

“Do you still want to do a puzzle after?” she proposed with a smile, hoping to be smooth in her obvious attempt to divert the conversation.

Sara frowned at her, pursing her small lips as she thought.

“Do you have cool animals on it?” she asked, deadly serious.

“I have birds and flowers?”

Sara looked at her in the eyes, as if you were seeking the truth behind her words. It was kind of cute, if not a bit weird.

“Okay.”

She nodded once before going back to her breakfast with renew enthusiasm. Ava couldn’t help but thought she dodged a bullet. She sighed deeply and finished her coffee. She just had to get through the day. It would be alright. She was kind of an expert on babysitting by now, wasn’t she?

*******

It appeared that Sara loved puzzles and was truly focused on them once she stopped complaining about her _boring_ animals and _silly_ flowers. She had a pretty good attention span for a child, her face twisted with concentration as she tried to fit all the pieces at their right place. The smaller puzzle Ava had -because she had quite a bit of them, she had realized, maybe one of her past selves enjoyed them- had 150 pieces so it took a while for them to finish. Especially because Sara decided to do it again on her own before passing to the second one, 200 pieces of a field with a rainbow. They spent their morning lying on the floor, soft 90s music playing as they did their puzzles. Ava didn’t get bored as she feared she would for watching baby Sara stick the tip of her tongue out and frowning confusingly at puzzles was a nice entertainment. Then she had to prepare lunch. She had the feeling she had spent her whole time cooking since she had taken the child home. So many meals to prepare, healthy snacks to have at hand, dishes to clean. She usually enjoyed cooking, especially a nice dinner for two, but it wasn’t the same. Instead of thinking of wines and nice recipes, she had to think of healthy but kid friendly meals. That was exhausting. Still, she was proud of herself. They made pizzas and though it was a bit messy it was worth it. She could clean flour and salsa off her floor if it meant she had a smiley and chatty Sara at her side, no matter the age.

But now, her meeting with the Time Bureau was approaching, and Garry kept emailing her last minutes updates.

“I have to work now, so I need you to play on your own for a little while.” She announced as she put away the last clean plate.

Sara frowned.

“How long?”

“A couple of hours, I think.”

The little girl sighed loudly and let her head fall on the kitchen counter.

“What I'm going to do alone? Can’t I work with you?”

“It’s an important meeting, I have to do it alone. You can keep doing puzzles if you want, or you can draw something?”

It was weak proposals, she knew it, Sara knew it. Even she herself didn’t want to do anymore puzzles until at least five years. She scratched her head as the child sighed again, drama queen full on. Her house wasn’t really child friendly, she didn’t have games or toys, or even books with images appropriate for kids.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” she reluctantly asked.

She didn’t want to be the one to put a kid in front of the TV all day, but time was short and she needed solution.

“Yes! What do you have?”

“Peter Pan?”

She had brought the blue ray as a surprise for Sara a couple months ago. It was a joke but she also knew that it was a part of her childhood that Sara deeply cherished. She had wanted to share that part of her past, a happy and innocent memory. They didn’t get to the end though, distracted by not so innocent activities…

“Yes! You’re the best!” Sara clapped enthusiastically and ran to the couch.

Ava went to put the movie on and prepared the kid a glass of water in case she got thirsty.

“I’ll be in my office, it’s next to the guest room” she explained as the credits rolled. “If you need anything, you knock on the door and I’ll come to you. Alright?”

“Yes, Ava, I promise I’ll be extra nice and extra careful. You can trust me.”

Ava kissed her cheek.

“I know I can, baby girl. See you later.”

She went to her bedroom first and changed into one of her trademark suits before settling in her home office. She called Garry and put on the Zoom call. A bunch of old white men trying to explain how wrong she was doing her job.

Great.

Exactly what she wanted to do.

She was good at her job, she knew it and the statistics proved it, yet she had to constantly defend her position and actions in front of them. It was worse since she had started to actively collaborate with the Legends. She wondered, as one of them went on some budget details, what they would think if they knew about Sara and her. She didn’t purposely hide it, she wasn’t ashamed nor did she felt the need to justify her personal life, but it just never came in the conversation. Would they think less of her for getting involved with ne of the Legends, their Captain most of all? Did they even know she was a lesbian, or that she had a life outside the Bureau? What would be their reactions if she had to take a maternity leave?

Shit.

Here she was again with her baby thoughts. She really needed to talk with Sara before her mind could take her too far… The image of the little boy with ocean eyes and a chin dimple came back. His messy blonde hair getting in his face as he refused to cut it shorter. She could see Sara holding him close to her chest as she hugged him, she could see them playing on a swing or doing puzzles of flowers and rainbows.

Shit…

Sara may not want him, especially with the lives they had. How came she longed so strongly for something she didn’t even knew she wanted two days ago? She never thought about it and now it was always in her mind. Maybe she should let a couple of days or weeks pass before talking with Sara, then it wouldn’t be so fresh in her mind. Time would bring her clarity on what she truly wanted. And when she knew, when she felt confident enough in her wish, then she would talk to Sara about it. That was the plan. It was a good one. Feeling better now, she tuned back on her meeting and went full Director Sharpe on them, halting their debate on the use of the Time Bureau finances and HR and leading the meeting with more purpose. It dragged for two hours, and when she turned off her computer, she let out a loud sigh, as if she could expulse out of her body the annoyance that crept in as old dudes tried to tell her how to do her job. She stretched her back and removed her jacket as her phone vibrated a couple of time. There was a text from Garry, probably to thanks her for this _efficient and really badass_ reunion -as he usually did- and one from Sara.

**big fight done, the epic-final-battle kind of shit, couples of bruises and cuts but im okay, Nates with Gideon but hes gonna be alright. Amaya should arrive early before 5**

Her heart went mad. She dialed her number immediately but her call went straight to voicemail.

_Sara Lance, do not ignore my call! Why didn’t you tell me you were going to fight? Are you truly alright? Did Gideon look at your injuries?_

The answer came before she had too much time to get angry or really worried.

**im still with dad, but its ok, i promise**

**i’ll be @ home as soon as kid me is gone**

**u can fuss around me then**

_Don’t you make jokes, miss Lance! I’m still not sure whether I believe you._

**but u love me**

Damn this woman who could make her feel so much at once.

_Of course, I do love you, you’re my idiot._

**I love you too Aves.**

_Then come back to me._

Ok, maybe she was all mushy, but it had been two long days, so who could blame her? She needed to make sure Sara was really fine, then she would kiss her and they would talk about the mission. It must had been hard for her to go once more against Dark and see her family.

**soon baby**

She put her phone away and went to her room to put back on some comfy clothes. As she changed, she realized that the movie she had put on for baby Sara was probably over for a while. She wondered what the child chose to do and hoped it didn’t involve any mischief or broken things. She walked to the living room and the movie was indeed over, but it didn’t catch her attention. On the sofa, spread out in all her small length, the thumb nested between the lips, Sara slept soundly, the picture of innocence and cuteness. So, nap time, she thought amused, that was a fine activity in her books. Moreover, they had had a long night, filled with nightmare and anxious thoughts, she needed the rest. She went to her library and took out the novel she had been reading for a couple of days and went to sat beside the child. She covered her with a blanket, kissed her cheek and read. Not so different from some afternoon with the adult Sara.

She had been lost in her book for an hour or so when the child started to wake up beside her.

“Mommy?” the little girl mumbled as she rubbed her eyes.

Ava hugged her with one arm, a small guilty smile on her lips.

“No, baby girl, it’s just me, Ava.”

The child blinked a couple of times and nestled further into the warmth of Ava’s side.

“Hi Ava. Is mommy and daddy coming to get me? With Laurel too?” she asked, her voice small but mostly out of sleep, not sorrow.

“Yes, baby girl, they’ll soon be there.”

Suddenly, she sat straighter and looked at Ava with big wide eyes.

“But what about you? You can't be alone!”

There was so much worry in the little girl’s voice, as if the idea of Ava being by herself was the most alarming thought she had had.

“I won’t be alone, don’t worry” She reassured.

Baby Sara watched her with skepticism written all over her cute face.

“Is your daddy and mommy coming too?”

“No, they’re not, I’m an adult, you know, I can stay alone”

Ava had a hard time containing her laugh at the scandalized face of the kid.

“But if you ask, they’ll come?”

“I don’t really have parents” she started tentatively. She didn’t know how to broach the whole clone thing with a child and she certainly didn’t want to upset her with her weird origin story, as the Legends called it. She was thinking of a way to explain her situation, when the little girl gasped, hands on her cheeks, eyes wide. A little drama queen, really.

“You don’t have a family? Why? That’s sad, I’m sorry!”

Ava was about to correct her, but again, baby Sara cut her to it.

“I’ve got the bestest idea! I can be your family if you want!”

To say Ava was surprised was a clear understatement. She wasn’t expecting this, this generosity and sweetness that just seemed to keep bursting out of the child. It was different from how Sara behaved as an adult, more spontaneous and open, but at the same time, the care and the generosity was the same. And that, that similitude in the difference, was what unsettled Ava the most. She saw so much of the woman she loved in this little girl, but she also understood with a new depth all that was rob from her, all that she lost. Yes, she would have undoubtedly changed and evolved as she grew up, but there was this spark that shone in her eyes. It got lost somewhere between the Gambit and Nanda Parbat. And Ava found herself mourning that loss.

“You don’t want me?”

Ava jostled out of her thoughts to find the child with tears in her eyes. She really needed to stop getting lost in her head like this.

“Of course, I want you, baby girl. I would really love you to be my family, Sara.”

No matter to which version of Sara she said those words, she meant it each time with all of her being.

*******

The rest of the afternoon went by a flash and when Amaya came, baby Sara cried and refused to go anywhere without Ava. It was hard, saying goodbye to this child she would never see again, and it was harder for the little girl to follow a stranger through the portal and leave behind the person who took care of her amidst the mess of the situation. They hugged with tears in their eyes.

"I'll see you again, right? You won't forget me Ava?" the child sobbed in her neck. 

"I will never forget you, baby girl, and we will see each other again." Though she knew that Amaya would erased her memories, Ava promised, knowing how true it was. "You're my family, remember?"

"Yes" baby Sara sniffed loudly in her ears before moving away to join Amaya, her brave face on. "We're family, and you'll not be alone, Ava."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, life's been busy, yall, and I wasn't ready for it. Technically, this story isn't over, I've got more to write (Ava and Sara reunion, and the baby talk), but I didn't want to leave you hanging too long without update, so I decided to give you this last part with baby Sara, and wrote th next one as an epilogue. So there will be a part Four, which is kinda funny as it was supposed to be an OS. Anyway, I hope I haven't bored you yet, and that you like this chapter. Let me know ^^ 
> 
> Until next time mates !


	4. Epilogue

Ava was cleaning the kitchen, trying to get the image of baby Sara tears out of her mind, when she heard a portal opening in the living room. She turned slowly, her heart loud in her ears. It wasn’t even as if they didn’t saw each other for long, and she was used to the worry caused by Sara being away on a mission. However, this time had been hard. When she finally saw her, her breath caught in her throat. "Just some bruises and cuts", she had said. Of course she could'nt trust her when it came to her health. 

“Sara” she whispered, her voice wavering more than she would have liked.

Sara stood on the other side of the kitchen counter, one of her hand holding her left side. She looked completely exhausted. Her hair was a mess in a ponytail, her clothes were torn and filthy. But what stroke Ava the most were her injuries. She had a dried blood on her left temple, a bruise already darkening on her cheek. She could see marks on her neck, definitely the result of a long choke by a strong hand. She had a cut on her right arm from where blood was still pouring and from the way she was holding herself, Ava could guess her ribs were bruised. She dropped the sponge in the sink and walked to her, mentally taking notes of every bruises and cuts she could see.

“I’m alright, Aves, it’s nothing serious, I promise” Sara assured once she was close enough to grab her hand. She lifted it to her lips and tenderly kiss it, maintaining eyes contact with Ava.

“Why didn’t you let Gideon check on you?”

“I needed to see you, babe. I… it was hard, with Dark… without you” she confessed. “I needed to be with you.”

Tears gathered in her eyes as Ava took her girlfriend in her arms and carefully hugged her. Sara was pressed against her chest, her head safely tucked in her neck and she could feel each breath the smaller woman took, she could feel her heartbeat against her own, she could feel her entire being and for the first time in almost two day, she could breathe fully.

“I missed you too, my love” she admitted as she kissed her hair. They stood for a while in silence, contented to be reunited, relishing in the warmth of the other. 

“I don’t want to ruin the mood but I need to sit” she said with a self-depreciating laugh. “And I might need a couple of those princesses’ band-aid of yours”.

That made them booth laughed as Ava helped her to climb the stairs to their room. She sat her on the bed before retrieving what she would need to tend to her injuries. She worked in silence, listening to Sara as she told her everything that occurred, from her first glimpse of Dark to their fight, including her interactions with her dad.

“It was so weird, seeing him that young” she said with a watery smile on her lips. “I didn’t tell him who I was, but I think he knew. When we exchanged goodbyes, he said…” her voice broke and she clung to Ava’s hand. “he said that my parents must be proud, wherever they might be, of the fierce and good woman I was.”

Ava put away her medical stuff and sat beside the Time Captain. There was sorrow in her eyes, but also pride and gratefulness.

“That was a very nice thing to say” she said simply, knowing Sara needed further prompting to go on with the rest of her thoughts.

“I know my father didn’t approve all of my choices, but he respected them. And I know he was proud of me for doing what was right, for fighting for the good and all. But it’s been so long, Ava, so long since I heard him say it. And so many things happened since the last time, I’m not the same person I was. I got you, and I know that in some way, it changed me. I like to think, he would have been proud not only of the fighter I was, but also of the woman I am? I’m not sure I’m making a lot of sense, sorry.” She rushed, her thoughts tumbling out of her mouth as she formulated them, not sure how to organize them.

“I understand what you mean” Ava reassured her. “And I agree, I think he would have been pleased to see you be happy and taking time for yourself as a person, not only a Legend.”

Sara smiled gratefully at her, her eyes still shining from her tears. She brought one hand to her cheek, tenderly tracing her cheekbone, before leading her to her lips. They kissed slowly, languorously, tasting each other with tenderness, trying to convey all of their love. When Sara started to let her hands travel on her body, Ava broke their kiss, chuckling when Sara chased her lips with a whine.

“You’re hurt” she chastised.

Sara only groaned for an answer, dropping kisses all over her face until she reached her neck. There, her ministrations grew more purposeful, making Ava pant. She was alternating between open-mouthed kisses and light bites that her tongue always hurried to sooth with care. She was leaving marks, they both knew it but couldn’t find a part of them that cared. Sara’s hands started again their travel, following the curves of Ava’s body that she knew so well.

“I can still make you feel good, babe” Sara whispered as she nimbled on that sweet spot behind her ear.

Ava could feel one of her hand toying with the hem of her tee-shirt as the other rubbed her tight. She knew she was getting wetter at every press of her hand, and if she wasn't already so lost in her lust, she might have been embaressed by her need. But Sara’s hand passed under her shirt to climb her ribs slowly until she could palm her breast, and she forgot everyything that wasn't the here and now. Ava moaned as she pressed her chest in her lover’s hand, glad she had opted not to wear a bra after changing out of her suit.

“You always do” she whispered back in a breath.

Lifting her arms, she allowed Sara to remove her shirt and pushed her on the bed.

“Mm?” Sara asked as she finally took one nipple in her mouth.

Ava’s back arched as she closed her eyes, one hand going to Sara’s hair to push her more on her breast.

“More” she moaned, failing to gather her words to formulate a full sentence. “Good… you always… make me good” she managed to explain.

Sara released the little pink bud before slowly blowing on it, making Ava groaned. Her hips moved against Sara, trying to get her to move lower, to do something of the need that was burning between her tights.

“Please” she finally said when Sara didn’t take the hint and went to torture her other breast.

“Mm?” was the only response she got but she felt Sara’s smiled on her skin.

She always enjoyed being a tease, making Ava ask and plead for more. And Ava wasn’t ashamed to say that she did indeed plead for more. There was a point were ego had to be put aside, and right now, as Sara’s hand pressed against her through her trousers, it was one of those moments.

“Please, I need you.”

Sara kissed one last time her chest, before kissing her mouth once more.

“What do you want?” she asked, toying with the button of her jeans. “Mouth? Fingers? Something else maybe?”

There was playfulness in her words, but love in her touch, and the mixture of the both drove Ava crazy. She was about to answer her when her phone rung in her pocket, bursting their bubble of lust and making both of them laugh. If Ava’s laugh was less amused than frustrated, well, that was no one business. Sara took the phone out of her front pocket, enjoying a bit too much Ava’s small whine at the contact, and answered it.

“Director Sharpe’s phone?”

“Captain Lance!”

Sara rolled her eyes and murmured “Garry” to let Ava know whose fault it was that she was left in that state. Ava groaned as she put her shirt back on, because of course, Garry would have to call her now. The idiot had always the worst timing ever when it came to calling her, as if he had a sixth sense that pushed him to ring her whenever Sara and her were…

“What are you talking about? I’m a fucking adult, I don’t have a bedtime!”

Ava burst out laughing at the indignant look on Sara’s face as Garry probably babbled nervously to explain himself.

“I don’t care Garry! And if you know what’s right for you, you’ll stop caring about when I go to bed or how I spent my evening.” She threatened before hanging up.

“What the hell, Ava? You told him I had a bedtime?”

She had tears in her eyes for laughing so hard and it took her a moment to calm enough to explain the misunderstanding they had had when baby Sara was taking her bath. Sara was still not convinced but she let it slide, happy to learn more about Ava’s time as her babysitter.

“You were very cute and nice, and though at first I didn’t have a clue to what I was supposed to do, it wasn’t that bad at the end. I had fun” Ava admitted, a smile on her lips. “I liked taking care of you, getting to know this younger version of you but I also…’ she stopped herself, looking shyly at Sara.

She had planned to wait before having this talk, she had planned to let her feelings settle first. Yet, she knew she didn’t need to, she already knew what she wanted.

“You also what, Aves?” Sara gently prompted her, her thumb freeing the lip that Ava had unconsciously bitten on out of nerves.

“I think I want a child, Sara” she finally said.

Admitting it out loud was scary but it felt good, it felt honest. Sara froze, her eyes growing wide.

“You want a child?” she repeated, incredulous.

Ava nodded, anxiousness bursting in her chest.

“You want a child with me?” Sara asked, pointing herself with frowned eyebrows.

“Yes, Sara” she chuckled nervously “I would like to have a child with you.”

There was a long and heavy silence that lasted for a small eternity, before Sara jumped to her feet and started walking around their bedroom.

“Aves, a child? You want a child with me? My child? Our kid? Do you… How? I’m not… A child? That’s…”

Not a single sentence came to an end, and Ava feared she was working herself to a panic attack. She had feared a lot of things with this talk, but having Sara panicking that way had never been one.

“Sara, could you stop please!” she exclaimed at last.

The former assassin immediately stood still. She passed her hand on her face, exhaled deeply before going to sit back on the bed.

“I’m sorry” she said. “I’m sorry Ava, I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Is that so hard to believe that I want a child? That I want to be a mother?” Ava asked with a weak smile, trying and failing miserably to pass her insecurities as a joke.

“No, that’s not it at all” Sara hurriedly explained. “I have absolutely no doubt that you’d be a great mother, Ava!”

“Really?”

“Ava, you’re one of the most caring and responsible woman I know. You’re always listening and trying to understand, always making the smart and adult choice in every situation. Your heart is big and generous, and I have no doubt that you would love your child and provide him or her with anything they might need.”

A single tear broke free from Ava’s eyes and rolled on her cheek as she felt the burden of her anxiety lift. There was so much love and honesty in Sara’s words, so much trust and awe that she felt she could do anything. She felt confident in her abilities to be a mother, but also validated in her want to be one. She threw herself in her arms and hugged her hard before kissing her.

“I love you so much” she managed to say between enthusiastic kisses that made Sara chuckled.

“So what was that mini freak out about, then?” she finally asked.

Sara dropped her eyes and fidgeted with the sheet.

“Ava, I’m not… I don’t think I can be a mother” she confessed.

“What do you mean? If I, a clone with no experience of family or childhood, can be a mother, why couldn’t you?”

It appeared to be the wrong thing to say for Sara closed herself more and stood again, turning her back to her. She crossed her arms and thought of what to say, before she sighed and opted to leave the room.

Shit, Ava thought. Left alone in their bedroom, Ava replayed their conversation in her head. She had been tactless, hadn’t she? She passed a frustrated hand through her tangled hair and tried to think clearly. She had been so deep in her own insecurities that she hadn’t taken the time to consider what Sara’s may be. She only thought that she may not want children as the only negative response she could get. She had been self-centered in her thoughts, and insensible to Sara.

“Damn it” she said to the silence of the room.

She rose and hesitated before deciding to let Sara have some time. She made the bed, went to the bathroom to splash her face with cold water and tam her hair. Checking her phone for work messages, she answered Garry’s texts before going down to the living room. She thought Sara would be on the sofa, but she found her in the kitchen, standing beside the counter, a bottle of whisky unopened.

“Sara, I’m sorry” she started “I’ve been disrespectful of…”

She couldn’t finish her apology as Sara cut her.

“I was angry and frustrated, and my first thought was leaving for a walk” she admitted, no meeting her eyes. “But I remembered what we discuss about communication and shit, so I stayed and thought a glass or two could help me think.” She was toying with the bouchon of the bottle without opening it. “What does it say about me, Ava, if my two first thoughts are always to run or to drink?”

Finally, she faced her, tears in her eyes. “How can you think I could be the mother of some innocent and helpless child, when I’m… when I’m me?”

“Oh Sara…”

Ava went to take her into her arms and exhaled with relief when Sara let herself be tuck in the embrace. She sometimes still forgot the scared and insecure woman that hide behind the ex-assassin, former vigilante and current Legend that was Sara Lance. She was used to be around her confident and sassy self and she had gotten familiar with the version that rose at night, repulsed with herself, full of self-hatred and guilt. But Sara was complex character that always resisted simple definition. She had layers, she had depth. And sometimes, she was scared and insecure. She didn’t believe in herself, not because of her dark past, not because of her scars, but because she couldn’t see herself as Ava saw her.

“Sara, your two first thoughts aren’t running and drinking, don’t sell yourself so short.”

She felt her girlfriend moved against her to replied so she went on.

“Your first thoughts are always to take care of the people you love, first and foremost. You’re always putting us before you, doing what must be done to protect us. I could give you countless of examples of you saving me, saving your team before even thinking of yourself, but let me give you the most recent and relevant example of your selflessness.”

Sara broke free from the hug to look at Ava, to read the sincerity and love in her eyes.

“We were in the bedroom, earlier, you were completely freaking out at the idea of having a child and yet, when my anxieties came out, you completely buried yours to sooth mine. She saw I needed you, you knew what I needed to hear, and you gave it to me. You always do.”

Ava tucked her hair behind her ear, letting her hand cupped her cheek. “Why?” she asked, already knowing the answer, but needing Sara to voice it for herself.

“Because I love you” she instantly replied.

“And you think it would be different with our child? You think you wouldn’t love them?”

Sara sighed, and shook her head, because of course she would love their child. A part of her already love the concept of them.

“Talk to me, Sara. Let me understand what’s going on in you pretty head”

Sara nodded and went to put the alcohol back at its place. She filled the kettle and asked her silently if she wanted a tea. They prepared their drink silently, before going to sit on the couch. Ava sipped on the beverage, letting Sara gather her thoughts.

“I never really thought of having a child” she confessed finally. “That kind of dreamish thing was always Laurel thing. She thought of getting married and having children, I thought of all the fun stuffs I could do and get away with in the next couple of days or weeks, thinking that I had all my life for those boring plans. I was still a kid really, when I went on the Gambit with Ollie, you know? I didn’t think he was the One for me, just that it was nice to be seen and chose over Laurel for once, and that he was a good source of fun for the next couple of weeks.”

She drank her tea, not ashamed of her younger self, but sad, as if she could mourn this version of herself.

“But then, everything changed, obviously. I still didn’t project that far in the future, but only because I had to manage to survive every day. Then in the League, it was the first time that I thought of what I might want with the rest of my life. I had Nyssa, and though it wasn’t ideal, it was enough for a while, thinking we could stay together. We never had the baby talk, because having a child there, at Nanda Parbat, would have been crazy, but also because, for all the love we had for each other, we didn’t have that kind of relationship. It was about need, the need not to be alone, the need to survive, to feel one another, to remember our humanity and womanhood amidst the chaos of the League.”

She put her mug on the coffee table and turned to face Ava who had mimic her. She took her hand and smiled softly at her.

“Before you, I had never been in a healthy and stable relationship where it could have been conceivable.”

Ava smiled back at her, and moved on the sofa to be closer as Sara looked behind her, her eyes lost in her past.

“But I think even now, I never let myself go on that kind of thoughts… it was Laurel things and I… I don’t feel right to have all those things she wanted but never could have.”

“Sara, babe, we talked about it” she started with pain in her voice “you cannot stop yourself from being happy because Laurel isn’t there anymore.”

Sara carried so much guilt from the death of her family, it pained Ava to see her burden herself in such a way. She understood where it was coming from, and she respected that it was her way of mourning them, but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted her to understand and accept that she was allowed to want things, to carry on with her life and being happy, that it wasn’t being unfair to her loved ones.

“You deserve to live a long and happy life, Sara, and you deserve to listen to the wishes of your heart.”

Sara sniffled and sat a bit straighter. Ava felt that they were moving on, moving forward in Sara’s insecurities. Even though she would still struggle with the all “deserving happiness” thing, it was still progress, and Ava would be there to remind her of it along the way.

“But what if… what if I can’t have children?”

“What do you mean, babe?”

“I know we didn’t talk about any of the technicalities of the whole thing but… I’m not sure my body can carry a child.” She confessed in a whisper.

Ava frowned, she hadn’t thought this far. Well, that’s a lie she had. She had thought that Gideon probably could mixed their DNA and make one of them pregnant, though she worried it couldn’t be her.

“Ava, I died multiple times, I don’t think it was very good or healthy for my uterus or my ovaries. And even before that, the League, they gave us something, a concoction to drink every month, to prevent us from menstruating. When I left, my periods came back, but they were never regular. And after I died, I didn’t have them for a while and they still aren’t very punctual.”

Ava took her face between both of her hands and kissed her nose.

“And I’m a clone. I’m not sure I can be pregnant too. But if we want it, if we truly agree to try, we will find a way. We have Gideon and Ray, we have a futuristic time-ship and we have each other. We will find a way, Sara. There are many ways to have a child, and not all of them imply a penis and a uterus” Sara chuckled, her eyes shining with unleashed tears. “and not all of them imply biology. We will find a way to have a child, Sara. If we want it, I promise you, we will.”

Sara nodded once, twice before laughing again, a big smile on her beautiful face.

“Damn it Ava, we’re gonna have a child!”

Ava joined her in laughter, happy to see her consider the idea.

“You truly want one?” she asked when they calmed a bit. “I don’t want to pressure you or anything, you don’t have to decide today or anything. And it’s not because I said I wanted a child that you have to reciprocate the wish. I wouldn’t leave you if you said you didn’t want it.”

“Ava” she started, her voice low and serious “I think I want a child with you.”

Ava threw herself into her arms, a joyful cry escaping her lips.

“I love you, Ava, and I want to live everything I can with you. I want to have a child with you and get to love them and see them grow into the wonderful being they ought to be, with you by my side.”

Ava didn’t have the words to express her happiness, so she kept nodding at every words Sara said. 

“We have to practice, Ava, it’s going to be so much fun!”

Ava nodded again before frowning.

“What are you talking about Sara? Practice what?”

Sara smiled like the Cheshire cat, took her in her arms and stood.

“Child making!”

She went to the stairs, carrying a laughing Ava in her arms.

“You do know that two women cannot conceive a child that way?”

“Why should the straights have all the fun?” Sara pouted as she entered their room.

She delicately laid Ava on the bed before climbing on top of her. She removed both of their clothes in a hurry, kissing each expense of skin she could as she went. Then, her hips tenderly cradled between Ava legs, she pressed herself against her girlfriend and whispered against her mouth.

“I will make love to you, Ava Sharpe, and I’ll do it so good you might get pregnant.”

Ava would have laughed if it was not for the intensity of the declaration. She parted her lips in a breath and moved her hips, making them both groaned.

“Go on then” she challenged “let’s make our family bigger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings ! 
> 
> We did it y'all, we finish it! This last part have been really fun to write, because I have been wanting them to have this discussion since chapter 1. Also, there is a bit of sexy time that wrote itself in the story and I thought it was a nice changed of tone for the chapter, so I left it. But it's my first time writing that sort of scene in a fic so, please, let me know if it wasn't too awkward xD ( I changed the rating)  
> I wanted to thank you all for sticking with this story and reading it to the end, I'm really grateful and I loved reading all your comments on it ^^  
> The next ff I'll write will probably be an OS with angst, because I miss it... 
> 
> Until next time mates !


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